Everything I Can Never Have (Age & Innocence Book 2) Page 5

  “If anyone’s life has been ruined, it certainly wasn’t fucking yours.” I scoff, shaking my head.

  “Are you kidding me?” Her eyes widen in disbelief. “I can’t believe how ungrateful you are, Xavier Williams! My family has given you so much. My father gave you a job… you’ve had so many opportunities to make your life better, yet here you are, regressing back into your fucking twenties—”

  “It’s got nothing to do with you,” I interrupt, glaring at her. “I got this place with my own damn money. It was your idea for us to have separate bank accounts, remember? Or should I say, your father’s idea.”

  She lets out a laugh. “Oh, Lord. Here we go again with the goddamned bank accounts.”

  I run a hand through my hair, so over this conversation already. It takes so much energy to even talk to her, let alone fight with her. Energy I don’t fucking have. The woman’s a goddamn vampire, sucking me dry of the last bit of life I have left in me.

  “What I want,” she says through gritted teeth, “is to work this out. I want you to fucking deal with your problems, for once, instead of running from them.”

  “I am dealing with them, by getting rid of you,” I snap, meaning every single word. “I told you, we’re done. You said yourself we’ve been over for a long time. I agree with you. In fact, I’ve already met with a divorce attorney so I can figure out the fastest way to get you out of my fucking life for good.”

  “You want me out of your life, Zave? Consider me gone.” She looks at me, her eyes cold, void of any love. “You know, one of these days you’ll figure out the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

  She turns on her heel and storms out, slamming the door so hard that the glass rattles.

  With any luck, she won’t be back.

  Chapter 6

  Sofie

  My phone beeps as I’m getting dressed. I lunge for it, my heart in my throat. Disappointment floods through me when I see it’s just an email notification and not Zave, like I had hoped.

  I can’t figure him out. We’ve been texting each other since the day after my party, but my last three messages have gone unanswered. In fact, I haven’t heard from him since Friday, which was two days ago. I don’t know what’s happened to make him suddenly decide to ghost me. It’s not like our conversations have been even remotely over the line, but then again, I guess that kiss has cast doubt on every interaction we have from now on.

  That kiss…

  God, it’s all I’ve thought about for the last week.

  I can’t close my eyes without replaying it in my head. Sometimes, it’s so real I can almost feel the rush of his warm breath against my lips. I know it’s not as simple as admitting we like each other, but complicated doesn’t automatically mean a relationship is impossible, right?

  I head downstairs and into the kitchen, stopping in my tracks when I see Dad sitting at the table. He straightens up, like he’s been waiting for me. I plant myself down in front of the coffee that I assume is mine and raise my eyebrows at him. We never have breakfast together. Not that a cup of coffee really counts as breakfast, but still.

  “Morning,” I say, eyeing him suspiciously. “What’s going on?”

  “Can’t I make my daughter a cup of coffee for no reason?”

  “Sure, you can.” I grab a banana from the fruit bowl to round out my breakfast. Peeling back the skin, I bite into the yellow flesh, then direct my attention back to Dad. “But past experience tells me you only do this when you have something to tell me that I’m not going to like.”

  “Then I guess I need to mix up my game a little.” Dad chuckles, making the lines around his weary eyes more pronounced. “I need to go overseas for work.”

  “Okay,” I say. He’s the managing director of an international property development company. He goes away for work all the time, especially over the recent months. I’m not sure it warrants a discussion over a cup of coffee, but whatever. “Why would that upset me?”

  “Because I have to leave tonight.”

  “Tonight?” I repeat, surprised. “Why such short notice?”

  “The investor I’ve been waiting to meet with had a cancellation,” he explains. “I need to fly out tonight in order to make the meeting.”

  “I’m still not seeing what the big deal is.” I frown at him. “You’ll be gone for what, a few days?”

  “Not exactly.” He presses his lips together into a thin line. “They want me over there until this new project is off the ground. It might take weeks.” He pauses, his dark eyes levelling on mine. “It could take up to a couple of months.”

  “A couple of months?” I repeat with a laugh. “Are you serious? What about my graduation? You’ll be able to fly back for it, right?”

  “I’ll do my best, kiddo, but it might not be possible.”

  I glare at him because that’s not good enough. He’s never left me for that long and missing something as major as my high school graduation is completely out of character for him. Every milestone in my life is sacred to Dad. My first day of school, award nights, performances… it never matters how small the milestone is; if I’m involved, he’s there in a heartbeat. Hell, he even rescheduled an important meeting so he could watch me compete in a spelling competition, and now he’s probably going to miss my graduation for work?

  “How am I only hearing about this now?” I ask. “Surely, something that major would take a little bit of organising.”

  “It’s been in the planning stages for a while,” he explains. “Honestly, I wasn’t expecting anything to happen until early next year.”

  “You can’t push it back a few weeks?” I whisper, my eyes brimming with the tears I’m trying so hard to stop from falling.

  “You have no idea how much I wish I could be there to see you graduate.” His voice is low and husky, his eyes shroud with guilt. “But this is important, Sofie.”

  “More important than me.”

  The words slip out before I can stop them. I hate sounding like a spoiled brat, but I can’t help it. He raised me like this—to expect that he would be there for every event in my life, no matter how big or small. For him to miss something so important to me for work… it really fucking hurts.

  “Nothing’s more important to me than you, Sofie. You know that.” His voice raspy, he rakes his hand through his thick, salt-and-pepper hair. “You need to finish getting ready, or you’ll be late for your study session with Quinn—”

  “I won’t go.” I fold my arms across my chest and stare at him.

  “You have to go,” he argues. “You’ve got exams coming up. You need to stay focused.”

  “Dad, tell me what’s going on—”

  “Jesus, Sofie, just do what you’re told without arguing for once,” he snaps.

  I stiffen at the edge to his voice because he rarely gets angry with me. He rubs his eyes, the dark circles surrounding them evidence he hasn’t been sleeping much. Then again, I already knew that. Every night when I wake to go to the bathroom, his bedroom light shines softly from beneath the door. Some nights, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even make it to bed at all, because he’s in his office when I go to sleep and he’s still there, wearing the same clothes, when I wake up. I want to tell him he’s been working too hard, but I swallow the words back down into my throat. Saying anything else will only inflame the situation.

  “Okay,” I say, letting it go for both our sakes. “What about me? I don’t suppose you’re finally trusting me enough to let me stay here on my own?”

  That’s a laugh. He went away overnight just a few weeks ago and encouraged me to stay at Quinn’s, like I was a kid who couldn’t be trusted to stay at home.

  But maybe turning eighteen will make a difference…

  “Not quite…”

  And maybe not.

  “Dad, in the eyes of the law, I’m an adult,” I groan. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

  “In the eyes of me, I’ll feel better knowing that you’re looked after,” he replies in a no-n
onsense voice.

  “Looked after?” I say with a laugh. “I can look after myself. You work so much, I end up caring for both of us most of the time, anyway.”

  “That may be true, but I’ll feel better having an adult here,” he argues. “Just in case you need—”

  “I am an adult,” I repeat, my temper flaring.

  What is it with people underestimating me lately? I’ve just turned eighteen. I’m in my last few weeks of school. Next year, I’ll probably move out of home and live somewhere close to university. This would’ve been the perfect test for both of us to know I’m ready for that step, but how can I prove myself if he won’t give me the freedom to do it?

  “You may be eighteen, but you still have so much to learn—”

  “And how will I learn if you keep treating me like a child?” Pushing my chair back a little, I glare at him, my frustration getting the better of me.

  “Sofie, please, enough with the arguing.”

  Closing his eyes, he rubs his forehead and breathes out a sigh, as though this conversation is wearing him out. I feel a stab of guilt because I’m not intentionally being difficult. I’m just trying to understand at what point he’s going to let me grow up.

  “Just do this for me, okay? I’ll be overseas and if anything happens… I just want to know that you’re taken care of. Is that so bad?” I groan inwardly, but he’s wearing me down. “Besides, Zave has already agreed to stay here—”

  “What?” I snap my head up, my heart fluttering in my chest at the mention of his name.

  “Zave, my best friend?” he teases gently. “About my height and somewhat moody as of late. He’ll be staying here while I’m gone.”

  “You’ve asked him already?” I wet my lips and swallow, my throat suddenly dry.

  “Yes. I spoke with him on Friday. It will be helping him out too since he’s still living out of that hotel room.”

  The timeline fits—Dad spoke to Zave on Friday, the same day he stopped answering my texts. But it doesn’t make any sense to me. If he’s ignoring me because of our kiss, why would he agree to stay here? Whatever his reasoning, I have to admit, the idea of living with Zave for any period of time is both thrilling and terrifying. He can’t ignore me if we’re living under the same roof. In fact, I couldn’t have planned this better myself.

  My phone vibrates in my pocket. It’s just after nine, so I know it’s probably Quinn texting that she’s almost at my place, but I can’t help the hope that builds inside of me as I reach into my pocket to check it. I breathe out, deflated, when I see Quinn’s name.

  “I have to go.” I apologise to Dad.

  “Tell Quinn she shouldn’t be texting while driving,” he murmurs, kissing me on the forehead. “I’ll be here when you get home. My flight isn’t until late.”

  “Okay, love you, Dad,” I say, picking up my backpack.

  “Love you, too, kiddo.”

  Racing upstairs, I finish getting ready in record time, then I fly down the stairs and walk outside. Quinn swings into our driveway in her dark blue BMW, roof down, music blaring so loud I half-expect Mrs. Winston from next door to call the police. I’m not sure why Dad bothered asking Zave to stay. Mrs. Winston will probably call him with a daily report on what I’ve been up to, anyway.

  “Hey, sweets.” Quinn grins at me as I climb in.

  “Hey,” I sigh, buckling in my belt. I lean my head back against the headrest with a thud, still processing the fact that from tonight, I’ll be living with Zave. The initial elation is beginning to wane, giving way to a whole other host of feelings. Topping the list is anxiety, my stomach twisting so tightly into knots that I feel sick.

  Tonight will be the first time we’ve seen each other since the party. He was so drunk that night, I’m not even sure how much he remembers, and the one time I tried to bring the kiss up in our texts, he shut me down.

  “Earth to Sofie.”

  “Huh?”

  I turn to Quinn, who stares back at me, her heavily made-up eyes narrowed into tiny slits. Quinn has been my best friend since the first day of primary school. I usually tell her everything, but for whatever reason, I haven’t told her what had happened between Zave and me after my party. I trust her with my life, but I’m not ready to share this one just yet.

  “I was telling you about the surprise Andy planned for me for our anniversary, but you’re obviously distracted with something.” She frowns at me. “Spill. What’s going on?”

  “It’s nothing. Dad’s going away on business,” I add when she doesn’t look convinced.

  “So?” She shakes her head, her wispy blonde hair flying around her face. “He’s always going away.”

  “He could be gone for up to two months.”

  “Two months?” She lets out a low whistle, then wiggles her eyebrows, her brown eyes shining. “Party at your place, then?”

  “Unlikely.” I snort. “He’s asked his friend to stay over.”

  “Seriously?” Quinn cackles. “Did you just turn eight or eighteen?”

  “You know how he is. He’s protective.” My defences kick in like they usually do when Quinn whines about my dad, because as much as he irritates me sometimes, I’m the only one who’s allowed to complain about him.

  “Protective is an understatement.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m surprised he lets me drive you anywhere.”

  “So am I, considering how bad you drive.” I can’t resist teasing her.

  “Hey, at least I have my licence,” she retorts.

  “Third time lucky, huh?”

  “Bitch,” she mutters, but she’s smiling. “Anyway, I guess I should consider myself lucky that my parents trust me to do pretty much whatever the heck I want to, huh?”

  I have to admit, I’m a little jealous of how much freedom Quinn’s parents give her. I guess when you’ve got four kids, you learn to loosen the reins a little.

  “Wait a second,” Quinn mutters, suspicion lacing her voice. “Does this ‘friend’ happen to be hot, moody and extremely fucking hot?”

  “You said hot twice,” I point out with a grin.

  “If we’re talking about Zave, it deserves to be mentioned twice. Come on,” she adds when I laugh, nudging me in the side. “You have to admit, he’s fucking gorgeous.”

  “He’s okay,” I say with a shrug, hoping my body language doesn’t give anything away. “And how would Andy feel if he heard you speaking about another guy like that?” Andy is Quinn’s boyfriend. He’s a year older than us and already at university.

  “He wouldn’t care, because it’s like finding a celebrity attractive,” she argues. “You and I would have zero chance with Zave.”

  My cheeks heat, which doesn’t go unnoticed.

  “Okay, what’s up?” she asks. “You’re acting super weird. Even more so than usual.”

  “It’s nothing,” I murmur, ignoring her insult. “It’s stupid… I’m just upset that my dad is probably going to miss my graduation.”

  “God, you’re so lucky. I’d love it if my parents would miss my graduation,” Quinn grumbles. “Anything to be sure I’m going to be spared their embarrassment. I still have nightmares about the year seven dance.”

  I snort to smother my laughter. The first rule of chaperoning an underage dance—always expect the punch to be spiked. Though, the sight of Quinn’s mother drunk off her tits was pretty fucking hilarious.

  “Seriously, Sofie, you need to chill. My parents have been disappointing me my whole life.” She gives me a sideways glance, one eyebrow perfectly arched. “Your dad misses one thing and you fall apart?”

  I purse my lips because she’s right. I’m making a way bigger deal out of this than I should be. And he said himself, he might only be gone for a couple of weeks, which means I’m not even a hundred per cent sure he is going to miss it.

  And in the meantime, I have Zave to occupy myself with…

  Chapter 7

  Sofie

  Later that evening, I sit cross-legged on Dad’s king-sized b
ed, watching him pack, like I always do. It’s a ritual I’ve done since I was a little kid and he’d go away on business trips. For a long time after Mum died, I was terrified to let Dad out of my sight. I was so scared of losing him too that I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. As I grew older, I realised I couldn’t change what was going to happen, and slowly I learnt to become less clingy, but the ritual of watching him pack stuck with me.

  “Have you got enough socks?” I ask. “And a jacket, because it will probably be cold—”

  “Sofie.” Dad smiles at me. “I’m forty-two. I’m pretty sure I’m capable of packing my own suitcase.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m eighteen. I’m pretty sure I don’t need a babysitter.” I can’t resist mimicking him in the same, patronising tone.

  “Really?” Dad’s eyes narrow as he pauses his packing long enough to glower at me. “And what if you needed to get somewhere? You don’t even drive.”

  “I’m going for my licence next week,” I retort, even though I had no intention of doing anything about it until now. “Another thing you won’t be here to see.” As soon as the words come, I want to take them back, but it’s too late. Hurt flashes through his eyes, but he’s quick to disguise it. “Speaking of, can I borrow your car while you’re gone?”

  “I knew there was a reason I was driving myself to the airport.” He grins, my attempt to lighten the mood working.

  “You trust long-term storage more than you do me?” I pout.

  Dad chuckles. “I’ve seen you drive, Sofie. It’s terrifying.”

  “I’m only as good as my teacher,” I tease.

  “Then maybe you can learn a thing or two from Zave while he’s staying here.”

  I nearly choke on my saliva. The thought of him teaching me anything… I shiver.

  Sucking in a quick breath, I try to compose myself before Dad notices something is up. Lucky for me, he’s too busy digging through his bedside table for something to pay attention to my reaction.